Old MySpace Blog post: I'm No Motorcycle Mama

When this post was written, we lived in Tooele (very rural). Mr. Wright rode his bike a lot, I never rode mine. We ended up selling both bikes, and Mr. Wright used the money to buy himself an even better bike, that was street legal. He loves it!

Aug 30, 2007

I’m no motorcycle Mama! :(

Current mood:disappointed

So, my husband and I each got a dirt bike this summer, and I've been learning to ride it.  And of course I really hate it when I'm not good at things, but I was trying my best to get good at it.  Trouble is, you can't ride a dirt bike on the road, (it's illegal).
I usually feel really confident on my bike on the pavement, but put me in the actual dirt/gravel, and I start freaking out.  I'm gripping the handlebars so hard that my neck and shoulders hurt, I concentrate so hard on the road, that I don't see the beautiful mountains, trees and animals around me, and I have to remind myself to breathe.
Not sure if it has to do with when I skid in the gravel on my mountain bike and crashed, or if it has to do with when I rolled our Isuzu Trooper a few years back.  But something about the tires of the motorcycle hitting the dirt, and gravel and rocks makes the wheel sort of slide around, and I hate that feeling like I don't totally have control.  I've been trying to just move past it and buck up and breathe. 
However, the last time I tried, I started having a panic attatck, and I got dizzy.  So I think I've decided no more motorcycle for me.  Maybe I can try a 4 wheeler, or I think I'd be okay with a little moped because it doesn't go very fast and it can go on pavement.
I feel like such a failure, and my husband totally doesn't get it.  I feel like I've let him down.  I was trying to be this bad ass, and now it seems all I am is a quivering mass of crying goo.

Old MySpace Blog post: Facing My Mortality

Aug 30, 2007

Facing my mortality

Current mood:angry

I'm turning 30!  I know, can you believe it? 30!!  And I don't feel that old, and in many ways I look better now than I have for most of my 20's. It's just that a lot of my friends are in their early 20s, and to them 30 seems ancient.
But I just found out that my best friend from Kindergarten has Breast Cancer, and doctors say she only has a few weeks left to live.  I really haven't been friends with her for a while, but that is besides the point.  She has two small children under eight, and she's only 29 or 30 years old!
I used to think that Breast Cancer was only something that happened to people after menopause, but I also lost my 32 year old cousin to Breast Cancer in 2005, and it really pisses me off.  Because it's just not fair, that it should claim the lives of YOUNG women, who have their whole lives ahead of them!! 
I used to think that I didn't have to worry much about dying young, that it wouldn't happen for a while yet, and that death was for the old. It's not enough to be young and healthy anymore, because if this could happen to two young women I know then that means that NONE of us are safe!!!
And I am terrified of getting Breast Cancer myself at a young age (it runs in my family), and having my life cut short before I've done everything I wanted to do. I'm so angry that it could take someone so young!!!

Old MySpace Blog post: Depths of Despair

This blog post is a bit of a downer, and I don't usually get like this. I think I was mostly overwhelmed with nursing school...



Dec 21, 2007

The depths of despair

Current mood:morose

I can't say why but I feel completely down. I don't know if it's because I miss my dad, or that I'm worried about whether I passed my finals, or if it's because I really, REALLY don't want to have my in-laws over for Christmas. But I hate Christmas, and I loathe doing all the shopping, wrapping, and cleaning myself. And somehow I feel utterly lonely, and I'm wondering, when did I become a bitter, cynical, bitch? I feel like a failure, and I can't remember ever being this depressed without a reason. I'm really burned out from school. I feel like giving up.  

Old MySpace Blog post: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

 

I decided to clean out my MySpace account. I wasn't really using it, so I've been saving the photos off it, and transferring them to my Facebook account. I also decided to transfer all of my MySpace blog posts for your enjoyment.

 

 

 

Dec 19, 2007

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.....find out what it means to me!

Current mood:aggravated

I'm bugged, because I've been having one of the most stressfull weeks of my life, doing nothing but studying, studying, studying. And I've been worrying about passing my Finals. And I've had two assignments due and three finals this week.
So, I'm talking to my husband on the phone, and he says, "Hey, if you get bored and have nothing to do, go buy me a U of U sweatshirt." EXCUSE ME? Bored? Nothing to do? It REALLY pissed me off! Because I have PLENTY to do! I said to him, "Don't you know ANYTHING about my life?" He obviously doesn't think I'm important enough to have a life, or know what I'm going through. He must just think that because I'm at home, that I'm just twiddling my thumbs all day!!! He doesn't take me seriously or respect me!