Crazy, Psycho Babysitter--Part Four

And now for the harrowing conclusion to the Bad Babysitter Saga. You can catch up on Part One--Bad Babysitter, Part Two--Cuckoo Child Care Provider, and Part Three--Daycare Drama.

I apologize that it took me so long to write Part Four. I'm sure you'll understand that I've been looking for a new babysitter. Plus, my kids have been sick. Not to mention that re-living the content of this post is kind of painful.

After being bombarded all evening with her text messages, I felt I should really cool down before responding with a knee-jerk reaction. I wanted to be sure I wasn't reacting emotionally to the situation, and could think with a level head. I especially didn't want Babysitter to take out her frustrations with me on Sunshine. Luckily, the next day was Mr. Wright's day off, and then it would be the weekend.

Mr. Wright agreed that the things she had texted me Thursday night were pretty offensive. It took me all of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to calm down enough to come up with a reply. I decided that I would give her a month's notice that we would be looking elsewhere for child care.

Please don't come at me for telling her via text message. She was the one who started it. And I really didn't want to spend my whole evening hashing things out with her. We tried our best to keep things really professional. Actually, I'm really glad to have written documentation on my phone of the things she texted back, in case it ever comes up. You'll find out why, when you read it.

Here is what I texted to her:

ME: Hi Babysitter, sorry I didn't get back with you until now. I've had a really busy weekend. I appreciate what you are trying to do for Sunshine. Honestly, the increase in cost is a big issue for us. We really cant afford to pay what you are asking. I also think we have different goals. But we have already paid you through the end of the month, so if you could please watch her til the end of January.

(All grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors are the way they came across my phone from Babysitter.)

BadBabysitter: the cost is one thing...can u tell me what ur goals r for Sunshine?

(I wasn't sure what to reply. It wasn't so much my goals for Sunshine that weren't the same, as much as it was my goals relating to our babysitting relationship that I disagreed with. I didn't have to reply, because then she sent this:)

BB: Im not sure u even have any goals for Sunshine...if so what r they?

BB: i will take cae of her...and i can only hope u will do the same.

ME: Thanks, we appreciate it.

At that point I had HAD it. I felt if she was going to be that BLATANTLY condescending to me, then I didn't need her. I immediately called Mr. Wright's sister-in-law. I said, "I know it's short notice, but I am having babysitter issues. Can you please watch Sunshine for a couple of weeks until I can find someone new?" She was happy to help.

BB: BTW..I told u each month frm Jan-Jun is $575.00 per month...u paid me $495.00 (because I paid only for the days Sunshine would actually BE there, at 2-3 days per week) so u owe me $80.00.by the 15th of Jan.

ME: Just rip up that check. We'll bring you a check for the two days you watched her in January. We don't need you to finish out the month, we already found someone else.

BB: U paid me for the month..however i gave u a total of Jan.-j ul. averg. If i do not receive payment of ?80.00 by the 15th ..then childcare will be disc

BB: ontinued upon that date.

ME: We will not be bringing her tomorrow, or ever again. We have found someone else to watch her the rest of January. So if you will rip up that check, we can bring you one for the two days you watched her.

BB: I would have ripped up the check...but u were busy at play rehersal...therefore it was dep. 24hrs. after i gave u notice.  ur way to busy to have a ba

BB: by...pull it together and take care of ur baby!13

ME: So we don't have to put a stop payment on that check, since it hasn't cleared yet, do you want to give us a check back for $400?

BB: U contacted u the night we had a talk...but ui were to busy to continue the conversation?play rehersal? it superbobvious that u have little time for Su

BB: nshine...one day you'll figure out what priorities are...baby basics r not ur thing!

BB: BTW...payment-check-shmeck...pay attention to the life that depends on u!

BB: FWD: I can't talk about it right now. I'm in rehearsal for a play.

BB: There is nothing better than moms that r way to busy for their kids-especially baby's sitting, waiting for a tit-that will never come.

BB: im sure its devistating to bring ur child to a place that actually cares about her-how dare...do research and fing info....tummy time? whats that....fo

BB: od-who feeds their child...sleep patterns-omg

BB: God Bless..those who depend up upon a pre-occupied mother!

BB: Don't worry...it has nothing to do w/u...ur the #1 MOM  of the year!

I of course was completely upset and flabbergasted by this. I knew it would do no good to try and defend myself. At this point, Mr. Wright stepped in.

MR.WRIGHT: This is Mr. Wright. Please try to be a little more professional. This isn't High School. I was wondering how we can settle the $ with you though.

BB: isnt high school...then whos taking care of the baby u all broughtg into the world?

MRW: We are. How about the $?

BB: I will not stand aside and be the only one who cares about ur baby...really why am i the only one who cares about her scheduale?

MRW: I think you GROSSLY overstep your professional bounds. We will worry about the welfare of our 2 children. Thank you.

BB: Part of my job desciption is to recognize when parents aren't taking care of there obligations: Sunshine is usuallt dropped off needing to  be fed, she is 

BB: usaually stressed to a point where meeting her basic needs is difficult, she is not able to put down for rest w/o her crying excessively, she is not ab

BB: le to put down w/o her screaming....she is not fed properly, she is not given tummy time, she is not on a sleep schedule or being sleep trained-therefor

BB: e as a  provider I am unable to give care to a child that does not have her basic needs met ? home. I am not GROSSLY crossing my boundaries...i am requ

BB: iring that the parents be accountable to meet the nneds of there child b4 i will be resposible for the care of the child. this is a requirement of my j

BB: ob desciption and ? some point i would have to report child neglect on ur part if u continue to ignore ur childs basic needs. 13

BB: Mom has never been interested in Sunoshine's time ? my house and has expressed tht she only cares about the last time she ate and her last nap...she has

BB: also expressed her frustration that dad doesn't do anything to accomidate Sunshine's schedule-he does what he wants when he wants. I now know that mom wo

MRW: Thank you for your last few months of care. We are making other arrangements. No need to try to insult us. We are 100% capable of caring for our child

BB: rks full time, is in a band, and has play practice-which tells me there is little time in her schedule for an infant. I gave Mom notice of my concerns

BB: and she was to busy in play practice to get back to me. U both need to get it together...this is ur child-she's a tiny baby.

Mr. Wright starts to lose his cool with her.

MRW: We have been together for 15 years, where's YOUR family stability?

BB: REALLY...why would u not give ur baby tummy time, why would u not help her learn how to sleep, why would u be scared to feed her food, why would u be in

BB: sulted if ur childcare provider noticed that ur child has needs that arent being met...that is parental neglect-i am appalled that u r in the health car

BB: e industry.  Make some sacrifices and take care of ur child BETTER...there is no excuse on ur part.

MRW: Where is your license? Do you know what it takes to be an RN? I should have been more careful choosing you

BB: Whatever vail u want to create about ur stability is fine...i have a job to do and tht means to make sure that the children in my home r cared for prope

BB: rly. ur only intrest is saving a dollar and going home....u have never been intested in ur baby's time at my house or how im caring for her. The conve

BB: rsation i had w/...u couldn't look me in the eye and there is no sign that either of u read anything about babies. where is ur capability? there is noth

BB: ing wrong w/giving them food and helping them sleep-yet this is left unattended...why?101010

BB: RN my ass...what do u know about taking care of ur daughter? She is neglected-its obvious.

MRW: We agreed to $30/day. You have gone up 150% so far. Had I known that would happen, I would have gone elsewhere

BB: To be a childcare provider that gets paid ?3hr...u do not have to b an RN.  to watch up tp 4 children in ur home u do not have to b an RN. what i do is

BB: read regularly about parenting, i look into the needs of the children i care for, and i notice most parents r to busy for their children. I inquired a

BB: t 4mo. and 5mo. if u giver her tummy time-both of wich u said no. what exactly does RN mean...i doesnt take an RN to rgive an infant their basic nee

BB: ds.

BB: i gave u notice about payment increase...$30 per day for 9hrs of infant care is rediculous. I have a right to increase my rates at anytime.

BB: Ur cheap and selfish.

BB: Sunshine came dressed for winter once...the resr of the time it was as if it was spring. She never smelled nice and her clothes/blanks/burp clothes were

BB: always spoiled-she deserves better.

BB: U look for an RN next time and i'll look for parents that r involved in raising their children. BTW  u can't afford an RN...u can afford someone who nee

BB: ds the money more than caring properly for a child in their hands.

Needless to say, those were low blows. Her venomous barbs hurt where they were intended. I felt really down, dropped out of the play, and began to question myself. I mean, when someone challenges a fundamental belief that you have of yourself, it really makes you take a closer look at yourself. 

I do read up on parenting. I had read "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer", which encourages babies to learn to sleep and play independently. Tracy Hogg's theory is that babies should become integrated members of the family as soon as possible. Yes, your life drastically changes, when you have a baby, but that doesn't mean the baby should "rule the roost". She understands that babies have different personalities and that no two babies will respond the same way.

This book helps you to understand that you CAN get your baby on a routine, without militantly scheduling when they will eat and sleep. It is unreasonable to expect a hungry baby to wait to be fed, simply because it is not eating time yet. If they are tired, they should sleep. The book helps you to read your baby's cues. I had implemented the feeding, sleeping, playing, and soothing schedule listed in the book.

There are all kinds of mothers, and many different mothering styles. I am not the June Cleaver-type mother. I don't make home-made chocolate chips cookies from scratch. My house isn't always perfectly vacuumed, dusted, or polished. I don't make the beds and have dinner waiting for my hubby when he gets home.



Damn you June Cleaver!



I'm also not the kind of mother who grows an organic garden, or cans peaches in the summer. I breastfed, but I don't breast feed my children to age 5. I don't have home-births. I don't home-school my children. Both are very valid forms of parenting, and if that is your style, I don't condemn you for it.

After being called a bad mother, I read The Bad Mother Manifesto, which made me feel infinitely better. It was almost like she and I were on the same brain-wavelength.

My favorite part was, "I reject entirely the idea that we can or should judge each other as mothers, beyond the obvious and most basic standards of care, and even then, I reject entirely the idea that any one of us is so perfect that she could throw the first stone without hesitation...I reject entirely the idea that mothers should worry about what it means to be a good mother in any respect beyond loving and protecting and providing for their children."

Another part I liked was, "The idea of the Good Mother has kept us in our place, has kept us cowering, alone, behind the veil; our important work – our critically important work – kept hidden behind the walls of the household; our lives and our stories and our history kept secret, kept quiet, because Good Mothers are private, are modest, are pudicae, because Good Mothers tell no tales."

I also read another blog called Not Supermum: The Bad Mother Club. She says, "If we work outside the home we feel guilty for not being a stay-at-home Mum. If we're a stay-at-home mum, we feel guilty about not enjoying it as much as we should be. If we're strict we feel guilty, if we're easy-going we worry we're not strict enough. Not cooking every meal from scratch? Guilt. Not being able to breastfeed? Guilt.

Why do we do this to ourselves? We're our own worst enemies. Why?

So, I'm going to abolish the Bad Mother's Club and I'm going to open another one-The Good Enough Mother's Club, because most of us are good Mums doing the best job we can. And that's just fine."

Honestly, I'm not a perfect mother. I don't do laundry as often as I should and my kid has reflux, so she throws up constantly. If I bathed her, changed her clothes, and washed her burp cloths every time she threw up on herself, I would be doing that all day.

I care about my child's well being, but I also believe that I am the best judge of her happiness, and needs. At the end of a long day at work, I just want to pick her up and go home.

Yes, I choose to work outside of the home. I love my kids, but I also need to have a life outside of just being a mommy, for my own sanity. I believe I am teaching my girls to become independent, self-sufficient women. I also am allowing my husband to take an active role in parenting, to foster a close bond with his girls, and to share in the child rearing.

Besides, does this look like the face of an unhappy, neglected child?

We have since found a new babysitter, so all is well.

Daycare Drama--Part Three

Now for the continuation of the Babysitter Saga, Part Three.

In Bad Babysitter--Part One, my babysitter says she is raising her prices, she insists that I put Sunshine on a strict schedule, and bombards me with parenting advice from What To Expect The First Year, and babycenter.com, via text message. She also keeps Sunshine awake for 3 hours, until she is so over-tired she has a meltdown, and then asks me to leave work to come pick Sunshine up, as she can't handle the crying.

In Cuckoo Child Care Provider--Part Two, she increases her prices three additional times. She tells me my happy, easy-going baby, Sunshine is a High Need Baby who cries all day, eats too frequently, doesn't sleep long enough, can't self-sooth, and that she can't put her down without her crying. She says she is doing "sleep training" with her and expects Mr. Wright and I to do this "sleep training" with her at home. She also says she wants to be a "second mom" to Sunshine, and that we are "co-parents."

After having long discussions with her for 30 minutes before work, and 45 minutes after work, I think we have resolved everything, except the price. I am willing to play nice and jump through her hoops to keep the peace, despite her REALLY rubbing me the wrong way personality-wise.

That same evening, I start receiving text messages from her while I am in rehearsal for a play. I brought my kids with me, and they are both playing in the lobby. *Spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors have not been changed, they are as they came across my phone 


BadBabysitter: Thanks for taking the time to talk this evening. I'm still not sure how well it went, but I tried my best to convey the fact that I'm doing my best to

BB: take care of Sunshine. These types of challenges are going to accure in most infant care situations and I hope the fact that Im doing some research would

BB: be seen as a plus. I had a strong feeling that her needs weren't being met when she was w/ur husband and when u shared ur own frustration w/how he was

BB: handling her, it confirmed my intuition. (I was NEVER concerned that my husband wasn't meeting her needs, nor worried about how he was "handling" her. I simply wanted him to put her down for more regular naps.) I am very frustrated that my efforts to improve my time w/Sunshine isn't being respected. (She most certainly didn't respect MY decision to wait to feed Sunshine fruits and vegis until after I spoke with my Pediatrician!) I'm also concerned w

BB: /the hesitation to feed her solid food. (I'm not hesitant to feed her solid food, it's just that I wanted to make sure it was okay with my Pediatrician first. Not to mention that I hadn't yet fed Sunshine her first taste of fruit.) There is no chance of her and I having an enriching experience if her needs aren't met...(Her needs ARE being met!) good eating and sleepi

BB: ng habits r key to her happiness. There is no easy way through this...it is what it is. Im here to do my job. If we aren't on the same page...then th

BB: is isn't going to work. If u r ready to work together then lets do it...otherwise its best to part ways and let things be.

That is SEVEN text messages. SEVEN! But it sounds like the closing argument. Then I get more.

BB: Another concern of mine is that there was little intrest in the info im trying to share...child rearing is a challenging process and if there isnt any i

BB: ntrest on ur part as of what i trying to provide for ur daughter then im not the caretaker for u. I put my heart into my job and i can no longer provid

BB: e care for people who have no vested intrest in what im doing and how im caring for ur child. (I want my child to be safe, and happy, but I don't consider Babysitter a co-parent.) If u just need cheap care and want only to pick ur child

ME: I can't talk about it right now. I'm in rehearsal for a play.

BB: up at the end of the day and go...(Yes, that is EXACTLY what I want!) then this isnt the place for u. To me childcare is a partnership. This is where I stand and I need u to know where i

BB: m at and what im doing. I look at this job in perspective of creating emotional stability and security for the children who come here. I need to know

BB: that I can talk openly w/parents and work together. I truely care about what im doing and i need u to care that im doing my very best to provide quality care.

BB: When u have time...let me know what ur thinking.


I was so completely flabbergasted, and PISSED OFF! I felt she was extremely rude, but I didn't want to respond until I had cooled off first, and talked with Mr. Wright. It took me three days to calm down enough to come up with a response.

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion in Part Four....

Cuckoo Child Care Provider--Part Two

Last week, in Bad Babysitter--Part One, I told you about how Babysitter said she was raising her rates, getting very pushy with me, and basically telling me how to raise my child.

It was nice to hear from many of you, that you agreed that she was over-stepping her bounds, because I sometimes I doubt the validity of my feelings. (This is partially because Mr. Wright is very laid back and easy going, and therefore doesn't get upset about things like I do, and partially because I've been gaslighted too many times in my life.)

I feel I should give you a bit more background information about Babysitter, because some of you were wondering what her qualifications were. No, she is not licensed. However, she said she had nanny experience, experience working with special needs children, and preschool experience. I DID ask for references, and I DID check them. Her references gave glowing reviews.

Remember how in December she said she was raising her rates from $30.00 per day to $40.00 per day ($360.00 per month to $480.00 per month)? One day, as I was picking Sunshine up, Babysitter says, "You remember that I am raising my rates to $45.00 per day, starting in January, right?" I say yes, even though I know she had told me $40.00 per day. (Now the cost has gone from $360.00 to $540.00 per month.)

The day she asked me to pick Sunshine up early, she started saying that she's been doing more "research" on the going rate. She says she has broken down the average cost-per-month, by age.

I am looking at her handwritten cost break-down and seeing numbers like $690 and $577. She tells me that she will take an average of 6 months, and will write it all up. She says that will include any sick or vacation days to reserve Sunshine's spot. I have no idea what she is talking about or where she's getting her numbers, and I tell her I'm not sure we can do that, but will mention it to Mr. Wright.

One day, as I'm dropping Sunshine off, she spends 30 minutes talking with me about Sunshine, and her schedule. She tells me that Sunshine is only sleeping 30- 40 minutes at a time for her, and that she needs her to sleep 2 hours at a time, so that she has time with her own son.

She wants to keep Sunshine up longer during the day, so she will sleep longer at nap time. I'm not sure how well that will work for her, since the last time she tried that, I ended up picking Sunshine up early, because she was so overtired.

I tell her that she does take 1-2 hour naps for me, and ask if possibly the dog barking is waking her up. (She has an ANNOYING little yappy Yorkie that barks at me EVERY time I come over.) She tells me her dog NEVER barks during the day.

She also tells me that Sunshine will only eat 3-4 oz of formula for her. I tell her that I am able to get her to drink 5-6 oz at a time. She tells me that she is concerned that Sunshine is not happy with her and that she wants to make things easier for her.

She says she will start Sunshine's day by putting her in the front carrier so that she can get that extra physical attention that she craves, that skin-to-skin contact. (Skin-to-skin contact is an extremely intimate thing, usually between a baby and her parents). She says she is trying to be a "Second Mom" for Sunshine. A SECOND MOM! (This REALLY rubbed me the wrong way! Who says that to a mother, about their child?!? How DARE she?)

I give her a check for January at the $45.00 per day rate. Because I have spent 30 minutes talking with her at drop off, I am late for work that morning.

When I pick her up that night, she spends ANOTHER 45 minutes talking with me. When I get there, she has her What to Expect the First Year book sitting on the table, along with her Parents Magazine, and she has printed something from The Fussy Baby Site called "High Need Babies". She begins reading over the article with me, and telling me that Sunshine is starting to be a high need baby (you can read the descriptions of each characteristic yourself if you choose):

• Intense
• Draining
• Feeds Frequently
• Demanding
• Awakens Frequently
• Unpredictable
• Super-Sensitive
• Can't Put Baby Down
• Not a Self-Soother
• Difficulty Entertaining Themselves

Really, when you look at the list, it describes ALL babies to a certain degree. Babies are a lot of work?! No shit, Sherlock! And she's basically telling me that Sunshine cries all the time, and she can't put her down.

As she's reading these, I am absolutely seething. I tell her I am shocked to hear her say that Sunshine is a high need baby. I tell her that Spitfire (my other daughter) had colic and was DEFINITELY a high need baby, but that Sunshine is nothing like that. I remember I couldn't put Spitfire down, even to take a shower!

I tell her that at home, Sunshine naps 2 hours at a time, eats well, I can put her down, she will entertain herself, she plays independently, she can fall asleep on her own, and she self-sooths by sucking her thumb. Compared to how Spitfire was as a baby, Sunshine is an ANGEL baby.

I tell her that it sounds to me like this isn't working out, and that Sunshine is not happy there.

Babysitter tells me that she has been doing some "sleep training" with Sunshine today, and that she thinks Mr. Wright and I need to do it at home also. She says that she thinks Sunshine will respond well to the "sleep training", but that if she can't get on board with it, Babysitter will have to start charging me $8.00 per hour ($72.00 per day, or $864.00 per month, from $360.00--notice the price keeps increasing every time I talk to her?).

I do not like confrontation, so as she is speaking to me, I am mostly silent, and just nod my head. I do not want to listen to her advice, but I am not willing to get into it with her.

She says that she, Mr. Wright, and I all need to work together, so that we will all be on the same page. She, Mr. Wright and I need to co-operate so that Sunshine will be happier. She says something about us co-parenting! CO-freakin-PARENTING!!! That coupled with the "Second Mom" comment makes me think of the movie "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle".

I tell her that I am offended by her saying things like she wants to be a second mom to Sunshine, because I am her mom. She says she was worried about how these difficult conversations would come across, and that she doesn't always know the right words.

She then looks at the check I gave her and says, that she guesses she can accept what I've paid her for the month, to give me 30 days notice, but that her monthly rate is that average she was showing me, of $575.00 per month. I tell her that she told me her rate was $45.00 per day, and that Sunshine would be attending 11 days that month, and that is what I paid her for.

She tells me no, the $575.00 is for the whole month, and includes any sick or vacation days. She explains that I have to pay the full amount to hold Sunshine's spot. I clarify that she means for us to pay, even for days that Sunshine is not there, despite only being there 3 days a week.

I tell her there is no WAY we can do $575.00 per month, and that I don't think we should have to pay for the days Sunshine isn't there. She says that is standard for day cares to hold her spot. She says that she will work with us, so that we will have 2 weeks a year of vacation or sick time.

I leave thinking things have mostly been resolved between us (except for the cost), and I will try and play nice, but I know we cannot afford what she is asking us to pay. I don't like her unsolicited advice. I don't want her to be a second mom to Sunshine. I don't feel she is a co-parent with me. I know I will be looking for a new babysitter soon.

I thought that was the end of the discussion, but I was wrong....More in Part Three.

Bad Babysitter--Part One

This is going to be a very long post, but forgive me. It's a really long story. So long, in fact, that I've decided to make the babysitter story a series. But trust me, it's a pretty interesting story, even if you're not that into children.

Remember how hard it was for me to find an inexpensive, yet quality day care provider for Sunshine? I thought I had found the perfect match, but things don't always turn out like you hope.

In December, Sunshine's babysitter informs us that she is giving us 30 days notice, but that she will be raising her rates, starting in January. She says she has been doing some "research*" (*this word comes up several more times later). She had previously been charging us $30.00 per day. According to her "research" the going rate is $50.00 per day, but she realizes that is quite a jump from $30.00 per day to $50.00 per day, so she will accept $40.00 per day.

She says she would like to do a progress report with me and Mr. Wright to talk about all of Sunshine's milestones, where she needs to be, and if there are any concerns with the Pediatrician. I'm thinking, I don't need her to do a progress report, I spend plenty of time with my child, so I know what she is capable of.

She also mentions that Sunshine needs to do more tummy time at home, so that she won't fight it so much when she does it at Babysitter's house. I make a mental note to try to do this more, but it's not much of a priority.

Just some background information, Mr. Wright has two days off during the week, so Sunshine only goes to the babysitter 3 days a week, and is with Mr. Wright 2 days a week. She spends her weekends with me.

One Wednesday morning, I express my frustration to Babysitter that Mr. Wright doesn't put Sunshine down for naps at regular times, so when I get home from work, she is often overly tired and fussy. Babysitter says, "Yeah, I've been experiencing some of that too."

She replies that she also notices that Sunshine is very fussy for her the day after being with Mr. Wright, and that it throws off her whole day. While I understand why Sunshine NOT being on a schedule with Mr. Wright would throw off the evening of the same day, I am unsure why it would throw off Babysitter's whole day the next day. Babysitter says that Sunshine needs to be on a consistent schedule. I reply that I already have her on a schedule, but that I just need to let Mr. Wright know what it is, so he can do it too.

She also mentions that she has been doing some "research" in What to Expect the First Year, and Sunshine is not getting as much sleep as she needs according to the book. She says that Sunshine is only sleeping a half hour at a time for her. She says she doesn't have enough time for her own two-year-old son, because he is always watching her take care of Sunshine.

She says she would like to feed Sunshine a bottle before her naps, because What to Expect the First Year says that may help her to sleep better. I tell her that is usually to help babies sleep through the night. I tell her I am not okay with her doing that, because I don't want Sunshine to associate the bottle with going to sleep. I don't want her falling asleep on the bottle, because then she will not eat as much, and I also don't want her to think she needs the bottle to go to sleep.

I explain that Sunshine's is on a three-hour rotation of Eating, Activity, and Sleep. She eats every 3 hours, and then it starts over. I explain that she eats, then is awake about a hour and a half before she gets tired and then is ready to take a nap.

I go to work, and then around 11:00 a.m., I get a text from Babysitter. *Spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors have not been changed, they are as they came across my phone "Sunshine is just crying and crying....can u come pick her up?"

I'm thinking, that's strange, because Sunshine is usually such a happy baby. She rarely cries inconsolably, so she must be sick or something.

When I get there, Sunshine is perfectly fine. She is not crying, nor does she look like she's been crying. I take her back to work with me. She smiles, laughs, and plays all day at my work. My co-workers sarcastically comment, "Wow, she hasn't stopped crying since you brought her here!"

I'm thinking to myself that it's more Babysitter's meltdown than Sunshine's. I'm thinking that I can't have a babysitter who calls me to come get my kid every time she cries.

I get a text message from Babysitter.

"Thank u 4 coming to pick up Sunshine today. I will right up a schedule...if u have time tomorrow after work or on ur lunch, we can get together and review it. Hopefully we can set something up that works for all of us and most of all Sunshine."

I am irked by this. She will write up a schedule? I already have her on a schedule. She needs to implement OUR schedule. It's our life, and our kid, and it needs to fit into OUR lifestyle.

I decide to have my sister Dreamer watch Sunshine the next day, to give Babysitter a break.

The next day I text back, "My sister is able to watch Sunshine today, so you can have the day off. I wrote up the schedule I've been using in a large notebook. I will have my sister keep track of her activity today, and I will do it, and have Mr. Wright do it this weekend."

The next week I show Babysitter the notebook and the schedule. She makes a comment that she thought Sunshine was supposed to be awake for 3 hours! Did she not hear me say, she gets tired after about an hour and a half?!? No wonder she was "supposedly" so cranky the week before! She was WAY overtired!!

The first day the new schedule goes well, until I get a text message from Babysitter. "I forgot to ask about her and eating food-is she still doing rice cereal or any other food?"

I reply, "I haven't been feeding her any other food. Just the bottle. She doesn't seem that interested in it."

Then I get this, "I was thinking she might not like plain rice cereal anymore cuz its not that tastey and i was looking on babycenter.com they have an age feeding guide that recommends b/w 4-6 mo. to introduce fruits and veggies...Im thinking she might need more than formula. it also say b/w 6-8 mo. to introduce meats and legumes...i believe its ok to get her started on solids...obvioulsy we wouldn't do meats and legumes right away, its recommended to do one food for a week at a time. I think she ready for solids-this might also help her napping and fussing...cuz her belly will stay full longer. do u mind if i try a bit of banana w/her rice cereal?"

At this point, I am already pretty fed up with her What to Expect the First Year, and her babycenter.com. I know that at her 4 month appointment with the Pediatrician, they said to go ahead and feed Sunshine rice cereal. She is almost 6 months, and will have her 6 month appointment with the Doctor next week. I know they will tell me to start her on fruits and vegetables. But I really want to WAIT until they tell me it's okay.

I text her back, "I will see what my pediatrician says after her appt." Not to mention that I haven't fed Sunshine her first taste of fruits and vegetables yet.

She texts, "is there any particular reason for that? its also recommended in the What to Expect the 1st Year to introduce solids at 4mo. the signs r being able to hold head up and sit in a chair which she can do both of these...so im unsure of the hesitation to wait?"

I'm trying to work during all this, and I'm sick of her and her "research" so I give in and text back "Ok" thinking this will be the end of it.

Then she texts, "I think its a good idea...im trying to understand her and figure out how i can help her be happy here and this is one of the things that i believe will help her.."

I text back, "That's fine."

More texts come. "this is a great website and resource guide for parents...if u choose to-they will send monthly emails of what to expect for the current month for babies and toddlers...i have found it to be helpful for monitoring milestones and other info. i will try it (the bananas in the rice cereal) after she has her next playtime and let u know how it goes...thanks"


Stay tuned for Part Two....