Bad Babysitter--Part One

This is going to be a very long post, but forgive me. It's a really long story. So long, in fact, that I've decided to make the babysitter story a series. But trust me, it's a pretty interesting story, even if you're not that into children.

Remember how hard it was for me to find an inexpensive, yet quality day care provider for Sunshine? I thought I had found the perfect match, but things don't always turn out like you hope.

In December, Sunshine's babysitter informs us that she is giving us 30 days notice, but that she will be raising her rates, starting in January. She says she has been doing some "research*" (*this word comes up several more times later). She had previously been charging us $30.00 per day. According to her "research" the going rate is $50.00 per day, but she realizes that is quite a jump from $30.00 per day to $50.00 per day, so she will accept $40.00 per day.

She says she would like to do a progress report with me and Mr. Wright to talk about all of Sunshine's milestones, where she needs to be, and if there are any concerns with the Pediatrician. I'm thinking, I don't need her to do a progress report, I spend plenty of time with my child, so I know what she is capable of.

She also mentions that Sunshine needs to do more tummy time at home, so that she won't fight it so much when she does it at Babysitter's house. I make a mental note to try to do this more, but it's not much of a priority.

Just some background information, Mr. Wright has two days off during the week, so Sunshine only goes to the babysitter 3 days a week, and is with Mr. Wright 2 days a week. She spends her weekends with me.

One Wednesday morning, I express my frustration to Babysitter that Mr. Wright doesn't put Sunshine down for naps at regular times, so when I get home from work, she is often overly tired and fussy. Babysitter says, "Yeah, I've been experiencing some of that too."

She replies that she also notices that Sunshine is very fussy for her the day after being with Mr. Wright, and that it throws off her whole day. While I understand why Sunshine NOT being on a schedule with Mr. Wright would throw off the evening of the same day, I am unsure why it would throw off Babysitter's whole day the next day. Babysitter says that Sunshine needs to be on a consistent schedule. I reply that I already have her on a schedule, but that I just need to let Mr. Wright know what it is, so he can do it too.

She also mentions that she has been doing some "research" in What to Expect the First Year, and Sunshine is not getting as much sleep as she needs according to the book. She says that Sunshine is only sleeping a half hour at a time for her. She says she doesn't have enough time for her own two-year-old son, because he is always watching her take care of Sunshine.

She says she would like to feed Sunshine a bottle before her naps, because What to Expect the First Year says that may help her to sleep better. I tell her that is usually to help babies sleep through the night. I tell her I am not okay with her doing that, because I don't want Sunshine to associate the bottle with going to sleep. I don't want her falling asleep on the bottle, because then she will not eat as much, and I also don't want her to think she needs the bottle to go to sleep.

I explain that Sunshine's is on a three-hour rotation of Eating, Activity, and Sleep. She eats every 3 hours, and then it starts over. I explain that she eats, then is awake about a hour and a half before she gets tired and then is ready to take a nap.

I go to work, and then around 11:00 a.m., I get a text from Babysitter. *Spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors have not been changed, they are as they came across my phone "Sunshine is just crying and crying....can u come pick her up?"

I'm thinking, that's strange, because Sunshine is usually such a happy baby. She rarely cries inconsolably, so she must be sick or something.

When I get there, Sunshine is perfectly fine. She is not crying, nor does she look like she's been crying. I take her back to work with me. She smiles, laughs, and plays all day at my work. My co-workers sarcastically comment, "Wow, she hasn't stopped crying since you brought her here!"

I'm thinking to myself that it's more Babysitter's meltdown than Sunshine's. I'm thinking that I can't have a babysitter who calls me to come get my kid every time she cries.

I get a text message from Babysitter.

"Thank u 4 coming to pick up Sunshine today. I will right up a schedule...if u have time tomorrow after work or on ur lunch, we can get together and review it. Hopefully we can set something up that works for all of us and most of all Sunshine."

I am irked by this. She will write up a schedule? I already have her on a schedule. She needs to implement OUR schedule. It's our life, and our kid, and it needs to fit into OUR lifestyle.

I decide to have my sister Dreamer watch Sunshine the next day, to give Babysitter a break.

The next day I text back, "My sister is able to watch Sunshine today, so you can have the day off. I wrote up the schedule I've been using in a large notebook. I will have my sister keep track of her activity today, and I will do it, and have Mr. Wright do it this weekend."

The next week I show Babysitter the notebook and the schedule. She makes a comment that she thought Sunshine was supposed to be awake for 3 hours! Did she not hear me say, she gets tired after about an hour and a half?!? No wonder she was "supposedly" so cranky the week before! She was WAY overtired!!

The first day the new schedule goes well, until I get a text message from Babysitter. "I forgot to ask about her and eating food-is she still doing rice cereal or any other food?"

I reply, "I haven't been feeding her any other food. Just the bottle. She doesn't seem that interested in it."

Then I get this, "I was thinking she might not like plain rice cereal anymore cuz its not that tastey and i was looking on babycenter.com they have an age feeding guide that recommends b/w 4-6 mo. to introduce fruits and veggies...Im thinking she might need more than formula. it also say b/w 6-8 mo. to introduce meats and legumes...i believe its ok to get her started on solids...obvioulsy we wouldn't do meats and legumes right away, its recommended to do one food for a week at a time. I think she ready for solids-this might also help her napping and fussing...cuz her belly will stay full longer. do u mind if i try a bit of banana w/her rice cereal?"

At this point, I am already pretty fed up with her What to Expect the First Year, and her babycenter.com. I know that at her 4 month appointment with the Pediatrician, they said to go ahead and feed Sunshine rice cereal. She is almost 6 months, and will have her 6 month appointment with the Doctor next week. I know they will tell me to start her on fruits and vegetables. But I really want to WAIT until they tell me it's okay.

I text her back, "I will see what my pediatrician says after her appt." Not to mention that I haven't fed Sunshine her first taste of fruits and vegetables yet.

She texts, "is there any particular reason for that? its also recommended in the What to Expect the 1st Year to introduce solids at 4mo. the signs r being able to hold head up and sit in a chair which she can do both of these...so im unsure of the hesitation to wait?"

I'm trying to work during all this, and I'm sick of her and her "research" so I give in and text back "Ok" thinking this will be the end of it.

Then she texts, "I think its a good idea...im trying to understand her and figure out how i can help her be happy here and this is one of the things that i believe will help her.."

I text back, "That's fine."

More texts come. "this is a great website and resource guide for parents...if u choose to-they will send monthly emails of what to expect for the current month for babies and toddlers...i have found it to be helpful for monitoring milestones and other info. i will try it (the bananas in the rice cereal) after she has her next playtime and let u know how it goes...thanks"


Stay tuned for Part Two....