Old MySpace Blog post: I'm No Motorcycle Mama

When this post was written, we lived in Tooele (very rural). Mr. Wright rode his bike a lot, I never rode mine. We ended up selling both bikes, and Mr. Wright used the money to buy himself an even better bike, that was street legal. He loves it!

Aug 30, 2007

I’m no motorcycle Mama! :(

Current mood:disappointed

So, my husband and I each got a dirt bike this summer, and I've been learning to ride it.  And of course I really hate it when I'm not good at things, but I was trying my best to get good at it.  Trouble is, you can't ride a dirt bike on the road, (it's illegal).
I usually feel really confident on my bike on the pavement, but put me in the actual dirt/gravel, and I start freaking out.  I'm gripping the handlebars so hard that my neck and shoulders hurt, I concentrate so hard on the road, that I don't see the beautiful mountains, trees and animals around me, and I have to remind myself to breathe.
Not sure if it has to do with when I skid in the gravel on my mountain bike and crashed, or if it has to do with when I rolled our Isuzu Trooper a few years back.  But something about the tires of the motorcycle hitting the dirt, and gravel and rocks makes the wheel sort of slide around, and I hate that feeling like I don't totally have control.  I've been trying to just move past it and buck up and breathe. 
However, the last time I tried, I started having a panic attatck, and I got dizzy.  So I think I've decided no more motorcycle for me.  Maybe I can try a 4 wheeler, or I think I'd be okay with a little moped because it doesn't go very fast and it can go on pavement.
I feel like such a failure, and my husband totally doesn't get it.  I feel like I've let him down.  I was trying to be this bad ass, and now it seems all I am is a quivering mass of crying goo.